Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

The Christmas Tree is down. And I have royally sucky hours today. 6pm to 10pm(?). And I am by myself from 6:30 and we close at 8:30pm.

And I close on New Years Eve. I dread new years eve and New Years. It just makes things worse instead of better.

I found a new song that I really like.  It is Hurricane by 30 seconds to mars.

These holiday Seasons have been rough on me. I wanted to be completely alone and currently that isn't possible. I wish that I could get drunk on new years eve. But I cant. Despite everything.

Its official. I need to get me a new MP3 player. I will probably get an iPod Classic 160gb. My Touch is getting pretty banged up and I have so many songs and am continuing to get so many songs. That I need to do something. Although that would require me to do what I need to do and make playlists on this computer. maybe I should do that on the first. and try to start clean.

New Beginning

Sunday was my birthday. It was pretty much just another day but in a way it wasn't. My attitude has changed somewhat. I am taking my birthday as a fresh start. I am going to try to work on who I want to be not who I am. I have plans that need to be completed as soon as possible.

I haven't had another date yet but i don't plan on having one with the same guy. There is nothing there. He’s nice but I cant explain it. I have crushes though.

Anyway I am looking for a second job because this one isn't earning me enough. I am going to have to get me an apartment and a car of my own soon. I just wish that it was all easier but its not.

Thursday is Thanksgiving. Luckily I am off that day. Tomorrow (Well actually today) after work I am going to spend the night with my Cousins. I cant wait. It will be good for me. I hope at least.

Wish me Luck.

Fresh start????

My 26th birthday is next Sunday. And I am dreading it. It doesn't help that the ex is filing the papers soon and is apparently already engaged. So that hurts. I need a second job in the mornings. I have WAY too much that needs to be done. I need my own place, my own car( and all that entails ), insurance, a rregular cellphone, internet, and a new laptop so that I can start writing. As well as spending money.

I really don't know what I am going to do.

I had a date last Sunday. It was ok. We went to a movie. Its not going to go any where though.

I really must start posting more.

I need a hobby

I  am currently thinking of what crafts I want to do and learn. So far the list is very long. I don’t know what else I want to put on the list but so far it is a pretty long list

1. Card Making
2. Scrapbooking
3. photography
4. Jewelry Making
5. Embroidery
6. Cross Stitch
7. Leather Working
8. Quilting
9. Knitting
10. Crochet
11. lace making
12. Baking
13. Chocolate Making
14. Clothing making
15. Calligraphy
16. Sketching
17. Painting

But it will be a long time from now before I am able to make it.

Its September… Where did the time go?

I cant believe that it is already September. The official start of Fall is in 3 weeks. Football has started. The Squirrels are getting well squirrelly and its getting colder. Although I cant wait of the year end I am still shocked at how fast it is going.

I still don’t have Job or an Apartment or pretty much anything. My entire life is falling apart it seems. I keep filling out job applications and there is nothing else I can do until I get the fated job. Once I do however my “apartment” is going to be pretty empty because I don’t have ANY thing unless of course I rent furniture from rent-a-center or something like that. That’s ok. I can use camp chairs in the living room and an air mattress for a bed. I can make it work some how.

I still don’t know how to use the local bus system. When I get a job I will definitely have to learn until I can get a car of my own. Which I hope will be before next spring. I want to go on trips sight seeing day trips. I am thinking of getting an enhanced Drivers License just in case I decide to go to Canada. Who knows it could happen.

Lets just hope that things can work out for me soon.

Sorry to be neglectful…

Oops I thought that I had posted on this blog sooner then now but I guess I didn’t. I wasn’t neglectful on purpose I just have forgotten about it. So to catch up I still don’t have a job, or an apartment or a car BUT I Do have my GED. I had three 630 scores and 640 score and a 560 score and I only needed an average score of 450. So I did good. I am going to start writing more but I must make a plan to do it. Wish me luck

Zanana

P.S I will try to catch up tomorrow its getting late.

Things to start doing

I really must start doing several things:

1. Applying for Jobs more often
2. Writing in my Diary
3. writing my blogs
4. Writing Novel One
5. Walking in the mornings

I don’t know what I am going to do these next couple of days except that I am going to have to hurry up and find a job so that I can get a place of my OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I stay here too much longer then I am going to get completely emotionally unstable.

Want to start a cooking blog

I so want to start a Food blog some day. and I have a lot of plans for it but I cant start it until I am able to get my own place and my own kitchen. At first my blog wont be much because it will be just starting out but I hope that it can be a good thing.

I wont be only cooking but I will also be posting about kitchen gadgets and new restaurants that I try. There will also be the new ingredients that I am using in my kitchen. I don’t know why I want to do this but I know that I love food.

Since I am thinking about starting a food blog maybe I should start soon not because I will be able to cook but because of the fact of eating out. I don’t know I will have to figure it out. I wish that I could do something more to occupy my time while I wait for my job and a place of my own.

This Past Week

On Monday I had my first GED class an took a reading practice test. I scored a 560 so I can take the regular test anytime now. Wednesday I had my Social Studies practice test and my Science Practice Test. On both tests I scored 800 which is a perfect score. So I have 3 tests that I can take at any time. I just think that I may have to take get my License switched over to a WA state license.

Yesterday was the 4th of July and frankly it was a bust. Maybe next year I will be able to go to an actual 4th of July celebration because just watching it on T.V was a bust. I have a lot of plans for 2014. I just have to get most things settled by my birthday. That means having a place of my own and a job as well as a car. I am just getting frustrated by nothing going right so far.

I just hope that I am able to get a job soon. Its so frustrating not having anything to do here but go to GED class on Monday and Wednesday nights. I still have several that I need to apply to so I am going to work on that. I HAVE TO GET A JOB SOON!!!!

Zan

Waiting Game sucks

I have several applications out and I am going to absolutely crazy. I dont know what I am going to do. There is so much that I need to do. I need to get a jobs so that I can hurry up and get an apartment of my own. Then I can work on getting myself a car. But nothing can happen until  I get a job.
The waiting game sucks majorly.

Some going on but nothing going on

I havent been up to anything. I have applications out, and I am signed up for GED classes at the local community college.  But until classes start and I here about a job there is nothing that I can do and staying with my grandparents all the time is crazy. Plus I am getting a little depressed.

Made It Too Seattle

Well I have made it too Seattle. Well actually I made it on Wednesday. I am not used to the weather change or the time change... I hope that I will be able to get used to it soon.

On another note I have GED Orientation on June 4th and 5th. Classes start on July 1st.

Starting a new life

On the 29th of this month I am moving to Seattle WA. The reason is so that I can start a new life. I am getting a Divorce and staying in this state is just to hard for me to deal with.
My parents and little sister are still around here but they have proven unsupportive. Luckily I have family in Seattle thats going to help me get on my feet.
I am going to be changing my life and actually learn to live it. Hopefully I will be able to figure out who the hell I am.

Rough Days Ahead

I dont know when I will be able to return to this blog because I have some extremely rough days ahead that I cant talk about yet. I will be able to tell later.

Such a pretty day

Today is beautiful day.

Negative Little Person

I think that many of us have that little person in the back of our head that tells us all the bad things that we think.

Well it seems like mine is a dictator and has taken over. Unfortunately my good person has yet to successfully rebel against it. I have moments where i am ready to change and fix things but I talk myself out of it and put myself down. I just dont know how to get the weapons to overthrow the bully in my head.

I am going to work on that if I can unfortunatly it feels like I have no support. And since I am married that gives me another problem to deal with that scares the shit out of me.

Yard Sale Season

Since the weather has been warming up and is pretty much early spring Yard Sale Season. In fact there is at least one this weekend.

This year I am preparing for Yard Sale Season buy creating a list of what we need for the house.

Some of the things I am looking for have to do with the kitchen. Especially cookbooks and other recipes. Hopefully I will be able to get them.

Early Spring

I guess it is officially spring. I found that the tulips are starting to grow and bloom. I dont know about out lilac bush.

Already March???

I cant believe that we are already in the 3rd month of 2013. It seems like this year is going extra fast. The good news about this is that it means spring is on is way.

Which also means that spring cleaning is on the way. Which I may or may not be doing soon. At least the indoor cleaning because the outdoor spring cleaning will start once it warms up in April or even May.

March also means that it is planting season. In fact there are some easter flowers already growing. I want to do some planting but am unsure whether I will be able to plant anything. Like everything else in my life its a toss up.

Whoa! Its almost March??

I haven't got a clue where the past 3 weeks have gone. All I know is that not much of anything has happened.

We have gotten some snow although neither lasted longer then a day. This last batch turned in to freezing rain and has left some ice. I am still hoping for a good snowstorm so that I can build a snow man and snow woman. Yes I know I am 25 but I still love to play.

Since it is almost March I guess that it is possibly time to start the tomato seeds indoors. I just have to figure out where I put them.

I am writing this post early I know but I cant sleep any more and am in the mood to write something.

Zandrea

Started a cooking blog

I started a cooking blog for multiple reasons. First reason I love to cook, second reason is to help me battle my depression. I figure that cooking will give me something to focus on when I have my boughts of depression and anxiety. I dont know if it will work but I am hoping that it will.
The blog is www.comfortsofhomecooking.blogspot.com

Depressed Again

Well I have been depressed all day and I cant figure out what triggered it. I have been doing much better lately by not having it but today sets me back to square 0.
I don't  know what I am going to do. DH wants me to eat dinner but I dont feel like it. I never do when I am depressed even if I am hungry. I know thats not healthy but thats the way I feel.

Solo Road Trip

Since my brothers wedding is at the end of June I am thinking about taking a solo road trip to it and back. I could ride with my parents but I dont think that it woukd be a good idea. I even thought about taking my little sister with me and having a sister trip... its an idea but still not sure if I can handle it. So far driving by myself seems to be the best. I still have a little bit to figure it out and plan.

I have already looked up the distance to the town where the wedding will take place and its around a 12 hr drive with no stops. I dont know if i will take it in 1 day or 2 yet. All I know is that the more I think about it the more excited I get.

Its the weekend

After working all week I am glad for the weekend. It means I dont have to be up at 5:00am. However it does mean that I have to do all my errands. Oh well.

No Excuse for not posting

I no longer have an excuse for not posting on this blog. I now have a new phone (not the one I was complaining about) that I have a blogger app that I can post from. So I have to push myself to post at least once a week.

Hate my phone

I hate my current piece of crap phone. I cant here when i get a text, can barely use the internetwhich i cant live without. I dont know how much longer i can live with it before i throw it against the wall.

Whats been going on

Heres the update i promised. During my g week vacation in stlouis i went to metropolis and stood under the superman statue, went to tunica and biloxi, went ziplining and went to the zoo and pet a stingray. After coming home i didnt do anything except have an bad birthday and stayed home on christmas by myself. And i start my new job at butterball tomorrow.

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Happy New Year. Hope everyone has a great 2013.

Just a test

I am still working on that update post but this is just a test for something else

I am still around physically at least

i am alive... And working on a post to explain where i have been and
hopes for this new year. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!