Vacation

I cant wait until the 23rd. The reason is because that day I will be leaving to go to St. Louis for a month. I will be spending time there with my Grandma and other family. I am so excited that I am ready to start packing even though I still have a little over two weeks to go.
There is a problem though when I get back I will have to watch my little sister while my parent go out of town for 3 days. I love my little sister but she has a tendacy to make my nerves raw. Which means if I survive then I will probably need another vacation.
Since we now have a washer we are getting caught up on our laundry. Unfortunatly we now have a mountain of laundry to fold and put away. Which I need to start now.

Zanana

Been Gone for A While

I know I have been gone for a while but I haven’t had much to say. I am still struggling with my mental problems. Maybe The Hub’s up coming vacation will give me time to think as well as give me time to do some Summer Time Cleaning.

It is pretty much like spring cleaning except that I am going to be doing it during summer. I have a long list of thing that I will need to get done during week one of The Hub’s vacation. Week Two will be getting a house keeping schedule done and getting used to it.

We now have 4 channels of T.V. Until 8 am there is nothing on. Then at 8am there is America’s Funniest home video’s. Then after that I watch Rachael Ray. I like her show. I have not gotten into watching soap operas but I may if I can get on a regular day schedule.

We have a washer now. We got it off Tradio. and the couple brought it too our house for a little extra. Its an old one with a broken lid.. but we know how to rig it and its better then having to wash by hand. We are still looking for a larger fridge though. Using a mini fridge full time is just awful.

On another note my brother is now is Japan. I am not exactly sure how long he will be there. I saw him on the 30th of June

I am addicted to housewife blogs. I don’t know why but I am. I have them saved on my phone internet web feeds. I also am addicted to baking blogs. I could make some brownies but it will have to wait until tonight and then I probably wont make them.

We are having a cool break here. It FINALLY rained so this week hasn’t been as bad as normal. The kittens are actually able to spend time outside soaking up some sun to help them grow. They are still stubborn though about getting their morning milk. Especially Loudmouth (you can guess why he got that name).

Its now 10am and I am watching court shows waiting for The Hubs to wake up.

R.I.P Possum the Kitten (and Cueball from the 18th)

The Someday Farm

Some day Jesse and I have plans to have a Farm of our own. We both have different Ideas about it so it will take some time to work out the details. Part of the plan is to buy some land with an old farm house on it and remodel it on our own. We are also going to grow and raise our own food. We may eventually have our own milk cows. because lets face it dairy products are just going up. Almost $4 a gallon. And in my family we use a lot of milk. The plan is to have it in 10years. The farm house will need to have a lot of rooms because well we want a large family.

I am currently looking up different blogs so that we can do some research on the things we are going to do. Basically we have plans to where we no longer need to buy groceries or anything else and become semi- self sufficient. We definitely are going to have a couple of deep freezers to store meat in. Deer, Pig, Cow, Chicken, and maybe some others. We are also going to have a vegetable garden and laying hens. We will need a large pantry and cellar for the vegetables. I am working on learning to make my own breads so that wont be much of a problem and if we get milking cows we will have milk as well as butter and other things like that. I want to learn to make our own cheeses eventually. The furnace in our farm house will be an outdoor wood burning one.

I also plan on having a spot off my own. A rose garden. I just need to lose my brown thumb. Next year we are going to buy some tomato plant at the very least I am also going to try and grow my herbs to cook with…

Well I had better go its time for me to clean the floors.

Zandrea

Life and Love

Life and love… Life is unbearable when you don’t have love BUT you cant live on love alone. Thru out these almost 7 years of marriage I have lived and dealt with things that I never thought I would have to live with. I learned things that I am in away grateful to have learned even if I didn’t want to learn them at the time. They aren’t easy lessons in fact some of them are down right hard as diamonds.

These lessons taught me that no matter what you have to push through and persevere. That you must try to prepare for the future. You must be an independent person in marriage yet you must be dependent on your spouse in some ways for the marriage to work. There is now “we” yet you must know who “me” is if you want the marriage to work. You must not try to change your spouse you can change yourself. If you wanted to change your spouse why did you marry them in the first place?

Anyway I am currently planning for a future that may or may never happen. I am hoping against it but the saying is “Hope for the best but plan for the future.” I am making the plans that I need to in order to protect my own future.

I am going to go to Butterball and put an application in and hopefully I will be able to get a job then I am going to get the things I want and have the house and hopefully turn it into the home I want.

Fingers Crossed

Zanana1124

The Week Before 7 years.

Well next Monday is our 7th Anniversary. I cant believe that it has been this long. Things are definitely going to be different for us this time around. We both are actually going to be a family instead of two people who are just married to each. We are aslo going to get this house organized and running the way that we want it to be

So this week the plan is to

• Do ALL of the laundry
• move the living room back the way we want to
• create some rules for the house.
• Completely clean the bedroom… its bad.
• Dust
• Clean all the windows
• Get all of the cobwebs
• Reorganize the Kitchen Drawers
• Clean up the Yard (when it cool)

There is probably more but for now that’s all I can think off. I want 7yrs to start off right

Zanana

Happy Memorial Day

A wish and prayer and thank you for all those who are or did serve our country and  for those who died for our country. I don’t just mean the military. I mean the firemen, police and the doctors ambulance drivers. Everyone who serves and protect  our country whether overseas or at home.

Made Homeade Bread

Well I made homeade bread to day and I messed it up. I accidentally had the toaster oven on toast instead of bake. Its edible but doesnt taste very good when u eat it plain. So i will have to figure some way to use it up.

Oh well maybe next time it will turn out better. Heres hopein.

The kittens have names

Well we named the kittens the orange one is named wiggle worm, the dark grey one is a charcoal. And then theres the all black one... His name is loudmouth cause he doesnt shut up.

My Sister

My Little Sister

My Little Sister is 13 and as much as I love her she’s already driving my crazy. I am afraid that she’s growing up WAY too fast. I may have to start cleaning the shotgun already. I was hoping not to have to until at least 15.

She wants to be a fashion designer and plans on moving to New York when she gets old enough. She plans on becoming rich someday and I wish her the best. I don’t know how to advise her or anything. There is 11 years difference in our age. I seem old to her I hope that someday we will be able to be close but I am just not sure how that will happen. My only bet is to just be there for her and help her if she should ever need it.

I don’t know how to help her to become the person she can be especially since I am not even sure of what kind of person I am going to be yet and I am 25. I once did see the future of all three of us  well off (mine from selling a couple of books) and visiting but I am not sure about that possibility anymore.

She has been calling me all the time lately. I am not sure why. We don’t talk much when she does call. Perhaps its because she’s just lonely. I am not sure.

Anyway I had better get back to doing the dishes….

Another use for a Journal

I found another use for one of my journals. I am using it to create a recipe book of the recipes I want to keep after having made it (with my variations of course). I wont add the ones that are already in one of my cookbooks. In the cookbook I will mark in my own adjustments. I mean the recipes I find online or a family member gives me.

But I wont add the recipe to the book until it has been tested out. They wont be organized but oh well maybe if I get enought it wont matter. Any way I am going to mark the date that its added as well as what catagory it belongs in.

Maybe these recipes will be passed down from generation to generation.

Good luck cooking.

Old fashioned living and frugal tips

Sometimes I wish that I could go back to the pioneering days. I am like how they were frugal and helpful to one another. They were two busy to cause trouble. Well at least most of them.

Some day I plan on having my own farm and ranch and will need to know the way things used to be. Heck it wouldnt hurt to know them now.

So i am looking up ways to make money go a little further. So I am doing most of my own cooking. Or at least I need to start. I wish we still had chicken so that I could make everything from scratch but I find that right now its not possible. However for now I can do what I can to ensure that things stretch a little further then normal.

Like making chicken and dumplings and constantly adding more dumplings in order to make it into at least 3 days worth of meals. And it constantly tastes better and better.

Anyway if anyone has any oldfashioned frugal tips let me know.

Adopt a Cat

Well about a week ago we adopted a stray cat.... Well more like she adopted us.We named her Peaches. Cueball died on the 18th and we of course were sad cause we had him and his older brother since they were born.

Yesterday we open the front door to see Peaches along with 2 kittens. And today she brought us another one. And we dont know if she's gonna bring us more or what. They are adorable kittens it seems as if we have 3 little replacements for Cueball. I havent got a clue what we are gonna do with them but right now they are to young to leave their mother.

Officially Summer

Well schools out for the summer down here in AR. So that means its no longer spring. I have no clue what I am going to do this summer. Probably not much of anything.

This weekend was Crawdad days in Harrison. Before long it will be county fair time. I really wish that we could go but I dont think we will.

I also cant believe that our 7th anniversary is in 16 days. I wish we could celebrate but its not possible with Jesse's ribs... You know I think his ribs are ruining everything. Oh well I had better get used to it.

Zanana

Makeup for May 19, 2012

Well here is day 1 of my wearing makeup everyday. I am keeping it somewhat simple. I am even wearing Dark Vanilla perfume. I love the smell of Vanilla. I also have Chery Vanilla and Vanilla Fields which I LOVE!!!

Making a home

In less than a month Jesse and I will be celebrating our 7th anniversary. I cant believw that its been that long sometimes. Other times it feels like its been forever.

Yet in all that time we have never had a home. We've had a house but its not the same thing. The thing is I dont know much about having a home instead of a house. The only time i have ever felt like I had a home was when My Brother and I lived with our Grandparents for a little over a year. So I am gonna try and remember what it was like then and incorperate that into our home life.

I really need some ideas of how to turn a house into a home.

Resolution

Well I have decided to wear makeup and sunscreen everyday. I am gonna post my makeup face everyday.

This blog...

Sometimes even though I have something that I want to say on this blog I dont because... Well frankly its hard to do from my phone. I believe it will be easier once I get internet at home and am able to update from my computer instead of just from my phones email app.

I am still going to post but they may not turn out like I want them too. I have plans for this blog that will probably unfold as I get my own life in order and the way that I want it to be. Just an apology and a notice.

Cross Stitching

Its currently 2:26am and I cant sleep. I want to start work on my new hobby. I am starting to do cross stitch. It really helps me to calm down and focus. I wish that I had had these when I went to the hospital with Jesse. Maybe I wouldnt have worried as much. Well wouldnt have freaked out as much after he came home.

The project that i am currently doing is a stamped cross stitch pattern of a peace sign. Its orange and purple. It even came with a mine embroidary hoop that was SUPPOSED to double as a frame but i am just gonna use something else and keep the hoop to work with. Stamped cross-stitch isnt my favorite thing to do but its a start. I prefer to use aida cloth. And do it on my own.

I have found one problem with it though. I need reading glasses to help me see the stitches better. They sometimes give me a headache. A good thing though about it is it helps with my depression and anxiety which is actually a VERY good thing. Hopefully someday I will be very good at cross-stitching.

Zannie

Depressed

Well my depression had made a come back. After the week I had its not a total surprise. On the 5th Jesse got hurt by a bull and ended up with fractured ribs, blunt chest trauma, pheumothorax and a contusion on his liver. We came home from the hospital in Batesville (which was 110 miles away) on Tuesday the 8th. Since then i have been trying my best to take care of him and i am not doing that good of a job because he is fighting me every step of the way.

On another note my grandparents were in town for a visit. I really enjoyed the time with the. Espeacially since i dont know the next time that I will get to see them.

I have some new bath stuff and I need to do something to get rid of the depression that is setting in. I need advice.
Zan

Happy Mothers Day!!!!!!!!

Wishing all the mothers out there happy mothers day

Oops!!!

Ok people i boobooed heres the real video of jesses bronc ride.

Jesse's rodeo on saturday

Jesse was gone all weekend to the rodeo in midway. He has another one this weekend. At this last one he place 3rd.

Be for I die Lists

I have finally started my list of things before I die. I am putting them in one of those diaries I couldnt figure out what to do with. I am making sure to leave room for the date that I accomplish it.
At least this way I cant say oh well I dont know what I want to do in my life. I have no excuses anymore. Some of the things that I want to do are scary (such as ride a bull) others are more simple (like plant a rose garden). Then there are those things that are doubtful (open a pet rescue).
I dont know how many of these things I will accomplish in my lifetime. If I dont try its nobodys fault but my own. Maybe this List will make a difference.

The question we all need to ask ourselves is "Are you Living or Existing?

I am NOT just a housewife…

I may be a housewife but if you think about it I am not quite a housewife. I am a personal Assistant/Manager, a chauffer, an accountant, a chef, a cleaning person, and a personal shopper as well as a secretary.

I may not get paid hourly (or even at all) but still I do the things that people do for a lot of money. It can be an exhausting job. Especially when your husband is as forgetful as mine. It’s a job that I seem to be made for. I enjoy my home even though I am not the greatest house keeper but I am learning.

Eventually I will be more if Jesse does what he wants to do and starts to ride bulls and bareback broncs in the rodeo. (I will get paid for that) It’s a good job for me since I have problems with people. Especially those who like to hug and you don’t know them (grrrr).

So as you can see I have an old fashioned mentality. I don’t know why I have this mentality but I do. Its just who I am and I cant change that. Not that I would. Its just some thing that works for me and Jesse. It’s a life that we both want.

Zandrea

Kitchen

Have you ever wanted to just get rid of everything in your kitchen and just start over. I do... Unfortunately I am not able to just toss everything and get new. But I can still change some at a time. I just have to make a plan. I have a new cast aluminum pan, and baking pan, as well as some kitchen towels that my Great Aunt Jackie sent me the other day. I really like the cast aluminum pan and I want to be able to do more. I need a fridge and new stove. I also need to make a list of everything I want. I am thinking about repainting the kitchen to a brighter color. Its currently brown and white... yucky. It aslo needs a new linoleum floor. But at least it has a pantry. I am thrilled about that althought the shelves need to be redone. But everything will get done some time.

Start of a New Diary

Well its the end of an era. Ok not really an era but still. My old diary is done filled up. Time to move on.
The only problem with this is that I have Four blank ones to choose from. But I have decided to chose the Brown leather one.
I have hopes that this new diary will be filled with joy not hurt and that I will be able to write in in daily. I am still going to write my letters to Desiree, but I am hoping for more for it. I need some more ideas on how to keep it fun. If I had an instant camera I could add photo's (or at least a printer).
I love the start of a new diary. I believe that everyone should keep a diary on paper. You never know when it can come in handy.

Zandrea

Health worries

Tuesday my husbands stepfather had a heart attack. They had to put in stints and now he has to be careful. It wasnt his first heart attack but still it got me thinking. My husband has a bad family history of heart problems and diabetes. He has a degenerating chest wall and his lower back has caused him trouble. His mother has degenerating disk disease. I have hypoglycemia, and mental health problems as well as early fibrocystic disease in my breasts.
I am now thinking more and more about how I can start to take care of myself and my husband.
I think we are going to have to start eating right, even exercising. I'm just not sure what all i need to do. Any one have any ideas?

Female Problems :(

UGH. Female Problems are EVIL!!!!!  I know that childbirth is supposed to be a lot worse but at least you get something out of it when its over. What do you get after the monthlies? only to go thru it again the next month.

Since regular pain meds don’t help me I am looking into natural ways to deal with it. I know that you can use lavender oil, and that you can use heat but what else is there? I am currently looking them up. I have about 20 years or so left to have my female problems. I had better learn to deal with them some how.

Mental Health Issues

Today I am again dealing with worry anxiety and depression. I am almost constantly either depressed or anxious. Or I am completely freaking out. I might be better off if I was able to talk to people about it but I have a hard time trusting any one. I want to be able to be happy more often. But I cant for some reason.

I am currently trying to cure my depression and anxiety by myself. But I wonder if I will even be able to. I am reading the Lucinda Bassett books and I have joined some forums to help me. The forums I have joined are www.anxietyzone.com and www.anxietyzone.org. I just joined them today so I don’t know how much help they are but at least its worth a shot. It will also help me to know that other people are going thru the same thing. Maybe that will help me.

I will probably be going to see a counseler also because I really need to sort out my problems and possibly get on some kind of medication. Wish me luck!

10,000 Books

I have recently started another new blog. This blog is about all the books I read. I have this strange notion to read 10,000 books in my life time. Since I am young I should be able to accomplish this.

My Other Blog is www.10000booksread.blogspot.com

Check it out.

Yes. I keep a diary.

I admit it. I am 24, married for almost 7 years and keep a diary. I have kept a diary since i was little. its an excellent unloader and way to keep family events. Of all the diaries I have had I only have my last two. I no longer have the ones from when I was little or even first married. I wish I did. I never knew that a diary could be more then just writing and i am just discovering that fact. I have recently just started writing letters to Desiree Montgomery. Desiree is my alter ego. She's living the life that I used to want to live. I am now even pasting things into it. (I have a picture of Bruce Willis from Armageddon.) and even drawing pictures in it. Pretty soon I will need a need a new one and have many plans for it. I will probably keep writing to my alter ego. I can really let loose at her and she doesn't complain. Maybe I will try to add some scrapbooking stuff to it. So as of now I am in the look out for a new diary. I know it will never be famous as Anne Franks but she wasn't writing for an audience. She was just trying to survive.

Constantly Distracted Writer

Saturday night everybody was gone and the house was empty. Perfect chance for me to do some writing without any distractions right? Wrong. I got distraced by my phone  and a book I was reading amd ended up doing nothing. I am constantly finding myself distracted while I am trying to write even though I have a writing space with a door. I either get an email and that makes me go online to look at something else or my husband will come in and ask me something (completely disregarding the do not disturb sign). I need to find a writing partner or someone that I can use as a way to stay accountable. I have tried to use my husband (he just says 'uh huh' and 'good'). I've tried to write down daily to do lists. So far nothing has helped. I just dont know what to do. I will continue to try and find a way to stay accountable although doing this could be considered getting distracted.

Unpacking and writing

We have been moved in since the 7th and still arent unpacked. I just dont know where to put it all. There are odds and ends that dont seem to belong in this new house.  The only that I managed to unpack is my writing area. I have turned a portion of my walk in closet in to it. I even have a do not disturb sign on the door. The rest of the closet is left in boxes but i still have my writing desk.